The Date with the Turk

  • Date:
  • Venue: Foundations, Covent Garden
  • Participant: Turkish Girl

I met this date a couple of weeks ago after my work Christmas party, at which I’d already had more than my fair share of wine. A group of us had moved on to a generic west end bar. She had been staring across at me too long for me to hold my ground. Of course, I thought she was attractive, otherwise I wouldn’t have crossed the threshold. We talked, we tongued, we taxied; unfortunately to our respective barracks. This would mean I’d have to date her. Continue reading


The Date with Thingy from Thingy

  • Date: 04.12.14
  • Venue: Café Kaizen
  • Participant: Thingy from thingy

I originally suggested Brixton for this date. Keep it close to home. Keep it familiar. And until 17.36 on the day of the date this was the plan. I was, as I am leading up to most dates, nervous and apprehensive; for this one those feelings were slightly amplified. Nevertheless, I was comfortable with the plan, and that’s a big part of the inner battle. But between 17.36 and 17.54 the venue changed, not once, but twice. No longer Brixton. No longer familiar. I was panicking. This was not a good start:


And I’d just planned my Journey… Continue reading

The Date with the Bus Journey

  • Date: 07.03.2014
  • Venue: Crown & Shuttle, Shoreditch
  • Participant: Tinder match #203

Ok, so here we find ourselves, back in the old Date Report territory. However, we have a new element to bring to the table this time. This participant was not organically sourced, but sourced through the world of tinder. A very first for me. Here is my experience. Continue reading

The Date with the Ballroom Dancer

  • Date: 15.02.13
  • Venue: Pix; Foundations
  • Participant: The Ballroom Dancer

I was out after work with a couple of colleagues and people from the ‘market’ – the Lloyd’s insurance market – in the Sterling bar, beneath the Gherkin. I was making small talk with various people, then got chatting to an attractive Bulgarian girl. She was a political violence broker, so we talked about work and insurance for a bit, before she mentioned that she used to be a dancer and was looking for a male ballroom partner.

“I used to do ballroom dancing” I lied. Continue reading

The Date with Agenda Girl

  • Date: 12.06.12
  • Venue: Mayor of Scaredycats Town
  • Participant: Agenda Girl #13

The meet was set for 6.15pm at the Bishopsgate exit for Liverpool Street. I arrived at about 6.11pm and text her with my exact location so I didn’t have to worry about looking out for her in the crowd (there’s always the worry you may not recognize them; that or I thought I might have the urge to run away). I then proceeded to send out texts so that I would have something to keep my mind occupied as I waited. She arrived soon after 6.15pm whilst I was engrossed in my phone. Textbook. Continue reading

The 3rd Date with the Lawyer

  • Date: 14.03.2012
  • Venue: Hix, Mark’s Bar
  • Participant: Lawyer Girl (round 3)

Before we begin this date, the third with the Lawyer, I will take you back several minutes to before the meeting. We had arranged to meet at that weird tourist attraction on one of the corners at Piccadilly Circus – I know they’re not really corners, but I’m not really sure what one is meant to refer to them as. I was a little bit early as I don’t like to be late. She was late as usual. It transpired that she had some work dumped on her late in the day. I, on the other hand, was sat at my desk twiddling my thumbs, on both hands, pretending to work. Continue reading

The 2nd Date with the Lawyer

  • Date: 09.03.2012
  • Venue: Pix, Covent Garden
  • Participant: Lawyer Girl (round 2)

For the second date I had been upgraded to a Friday date. As such I had contemplated dressing down a bit, and getting out of my suit, be a little less business. However, I opted not to; well, she was a City (well, Canary Wharf) Lawyer after all. The venue was left to me again. Still out of my comfort zone, I sought advice from some colleagues. I decided on Covent Garden, and noted the location of several places that came recommended. Without the use of a smart phone, one is somewhat limited in flexibility and spontaneity, instead having to commit several places to memory and, in my case, having to mentally map them out beforehand. Continue reading

The 1st Date with the Lawyer

  • Date: 01.03.2012
  • Venue: The Swan @ The Globe
  • Participant: Lawyer Girl

It was a bad start to the date – she text saying the Jubilee Line was part suspended so she was going to be late. However, she then text saying she was on her way in a taxi – this is exactly the sort of thing I (didn’t) do, splash the cash, willy-nilly, on taxis across London – so she arrived shortly thereafter. I’d miraculously arrived on time, worried she might be charging by the clock. I waited at London Bridge station so, when she arrived, I was busy guiding a foreigner through the bus routes of London – I have an absolutely terrible sense of direction and didn’t even own a smart phone… I gave him some advice and directions nevertheless. He wasn’t to know it was completely ill-informed and misguided. He left, smiling, a satisfied customer. Continue reading