The Date with the Joker

  • Date: 19.08.2015
  • Venue: Central & Co; The Cocktail Trading Company
  • Participant: The Joker

Another one sourced from Bumble. In half of the photos she looked hot. In the other half she resembled Heath Ledger’s Joker: very pale, verging on white, make-up, big blood red lipstick that elongated her mouth, and wild (although dark) hair. Still, it was enough for me to swipe right. A match. An ensuing conversation. I was on a recruitment drive, so reciprocated. She was responsive, and offered hints of the carefree attitude someone of her twenty two years ought to possess. Continue reading


The Date with the Liberal Tory

  • Date: 25.04.15
  • Venue: Gremios
  • Participant: Tinder Girl #7

I matched with this girl on Tinder a few weeks ago. Congratulations to her, she was my 317th match. My usual practice these days is not to message any of them, but to wait for the ones that message me. This way you can sift out the keener ones.

So she messaged with “Good Moooooorning”. I replied with “Good afternooooooon” (a few days later). It continued like this for a bit. She was from Brixton, which was a convenience I would usually only expect from Happn. An added bonus. Continue reading

The Date with the Bar Crawl

  • Date: 24.04.15
  • Venue: Market House; Prince of Wales; Gremios; Kaff
  • Participant: Happn Girl #3

Some people think Happn is quite ‘stalkerish’. I beg to differ. I met this girl on Happn. I’d first seen her a couple of months back, and gave her a like. No crush. I didn’t charm her. I’d already used up all my free ones in one drunken night’s session. I kept seeing her on Happn, so I presumed she must live in Brixton. Then one night I was out in Kaff bar and I saw her there. She was with another guy. It looked date-like. The next day I saw her on Happn. I looked at her profile again: active 2 months ago. This led me to believe she was seeing someone, probably the guy I saw her in Kaff with, and thus was no longer on the Happn market. Continue reading