There should be an App for that

Love dating? But sometimes feel like you’re struggling to keep your proverbial dating head above the sea of matches? You need the ‘Dater PA’ – the app that keeps on top of your dating admin, so you can keep on top of your dates. Continue reading


Travel by Tinder

The alternative title for this would be 'Tinder Tourist', but I'm not one for calling a spade a spade.

Background Information

To set the scene, I'd been invited to a friend's wedding in the Philippines. I’d met him travelling, and only knew one other person who was going, but they would be with their girlfriend. So, not wanting to be a third wheel, I decided that, other than the four days I would be occupied with the wedding, I would spend my time solo travelling. Continue reading

The 3rd Date with the ‘Next Time’ Girl

  • Date: 15.01.2016
  • Venue: Happiness Forgets; Eckovision
  • Participant: Polish Girl (Round 3)

And so we found ourselves at the next next time. It almost didn’t happen. In accordance with previous conversations I’d arranged it for a Friday, but just after lunch time on said Friday she messaged saying she was ill and couldn’t make it. She was very apologetic, and said she would do any other day. I believed her. But that wasn’t the point. If it was any other day of the week I wouldn’t have minded so much. But it was a sacred Friday. And I had a lot of girls on the go at the moment who I needed to fit in, but it was now too late to offer it up to anyone else. It was messing with the tight and tricky logistics I was currently immersed in. Continue reading

The 2nd Date with the ‘Next Time’ Girl

  • Date: 06.01.2016
  • Venue: Merchants Tavern
  • Participant: Polish Girl (round 2)

And so we found ourselves at the next time. She wanted to meet in the Shoreditch area, so we met outside Shoreditch High Street station; she was late again. Not being one of my areas of expertise, and knowing that she wouldn’t have anywhere in mind – she would call it being spontaneous; I would call it a lack of planning – I’d sourced my friends and housemates for venue ideas. I had opted for the Merchants (not Merchant’s, or indeed Merchants’… perhaps it was just a place multiple merchants gathered but weren’t entitled to call their own) Tavern – a place I had never been, but that sounded like it closely fitted with my date venue requirements. Continue reading

The 1st Date with the ‘Next Time’ Girl

  • Date: 29.12.2015
  • Venue: Central & Co; Cocktail Trading Company
  • Participant: Polish Girl

Leading up to Christmas, my two friends and I decided we wanted to all go on separate dates in the same place. The challenge was set: the Monday before Christmas; Central & Co; they had to be new. So, on the week leading up to the event, I went on an inorganic recruitment splurge. I accrued more matches than necessary, but it’s a very addictive game after all. I then adopted the cluster bomb approach: indiscriminately firing out the same message to multiple matches at a time. Continue reading

The Date with the Moon

  • Victim: Sky Garden Girl
  • Venue: Market House; Eckovision
  • Date: 11.12.15

 I met this girl in the Sky Garden (at the top of the Walkie Talkie) whilst out for post-work Friday drinks with a colleague. We were enjoying a glass of Sauvignon, whilst taking in the view(s), when three girls came in, two with suitcases. They came and stood near us, and were taking photos, so we used the (smart phone) age old technique of offering to take one of them all. My colleague even managed to take some on his phone – citing the superiority of the camera on the Samsung Galaxy 6 – which would come in useful in the post-event assessment and pre-date recognition. Continue reading

The Date with the Joker

  • Date: 19.08.2015
  • Venue: Central & Co; The Cocktail Trading Company
  • Participant: The Joker

Another one sourced from Bumble. In half of the photos she looked hot. In the other half she resembled Heath Ledger’s Joker: very pale, verging on white, make-up, big blood red lipstick that elongated her mouth, and wild (although dark) hair. Still, it was enough for me to swipe right. A match. An ensuing conversation. I was on a recruitment drive, so reciprocated. She was responsive, and offered hints of the carefree attitude someone of her twenty two years ought to possess. Continue reading

The Date with the Liberal Tory

  • Date: 25.04.15
  • Venue: Gremios
  • Participant: Tinder Girl #7

I matched with this girl on Tinder a few weeks ago. Congratulations to her, she was my 317th match. My usual practice these days is not to message any of them, but to wait for the ones that message me. This way you can sift out the keener ones.

So she messaged with “Good Moooooorning”. I replied with “Good afternooooooon” (a few days later). It continued like this for a bit. She was from Brixton, which was a convenience I would usually only expect from Happn. An added bonus. Continue reading

The Date with the Bar Crawl

  • Date: 24.04.15
  • Venue: Market House; Prince of Wales; Gremios; Kaff
  • Participant: Happn Girl #3

Some people think Happn is quite ‘stalkerish’. I beg to differ. I met this girl on Happn. I’d first seen her a couple of months back, and gave her a like. No crush. I didn’t charm her. I’d already used up all my free ones in one drunken night’s session. I kept seeing her on Happn, so I presumed she must live in Brixton. Then one night I was out in Kaff bar and I saw her there. She was with another guy. It looked date-like. The next day I saw her on Happn. I looked at her profile again: active 2 months ago. This led me to believe she was seeing someone, probably the guy I saw her in Kaff with, and thus was no longer on the Happn market. Continue reading

The Date with Gremios Girl

  • Date:
  • Venue: Gremios; Market House
  • Participant: Tinder Girl #4

One of my New Year’s resolutions was to get back into Tinder as it’s a resource I don’t feel I’ve made full use of. Obviously organically sourced produce is the most desirable, but in a competitive and saturated market, one needs to be open to aggressive acquisitions.

Upon researching the market, I stumbled across a girl whose pictures included Strongbow and Brighton, two areas of common ground. A good start I thought, and that is how I initiated takeover discussions. Negotiations went fairly smoothly and it wasn’t long until we agreed to meet in person. She also resided in Streatham, which was an added bonus and reduced the need for relocation. Continue reading